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Published by Stewart Tabori Chang ISBN: 1584794771 Pub. Date: June 2006 List Price $14.95 Original Paperback 6 x 9" trim size 208 pages
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The Fatherstyle Advantage has a simple premise: that we can all become better parents by adopting some of the practices of today’s most involved fathers. Even if you already know that fathers bring unique gifts to parenting, this book will show you how you can put some of these gifts to work to dramatically improve your own parenting.
Fathers have a unique and important contribution to make to the raising of children, one that has the potential to help all mothers and fathers become happier, more effective parents. That’s why we wrote this book. In this book you will learn about fatherstyle, our description of the unique gifts that today’s most involved fathers bring to parenting. The five elements of fatherstyle are:
- Playactivity;
- Promoting Independence;
- Nurturing Empathy and Emotional Intelligence;
- Solving Discipline Problems while Helping to Raise Children with Self-Control; and
- Creating a Culture of Expectation in the Home.
We’ve already said a few words about fatherstyle, but you may be curious as to what exactly is the fatherstyle advantage? The fatherstyle advantage is a two-fold concept. First, it refers to the things that fathers tend to do best when it comes to parenting. Together, the five elements we listed above, and which form the heart of the book, create an advantage in parenting skills and style in these distinct areas. But don’t worry. We also realize that motherstyle has plenty of advantages, too.
The concept of the fatherstyle advantage also refers to the extra edge that children get from the way dads raise them differently. This is an extra edge or advantage that makes them more likely to grow into happy, successful adults. We hope to make it plain that fatherstyle parenting can make a positive, lasting difference for mothers and fathers and their children as well.
Of course, we both believe that the best way to raise a child today is to have two active, highly involved parents working closely together in a loving, cooperative team. Both parents make an important, highly essential contribution to parenting. Having written that, however, we hope to balance the playing field a bit for fathers.
But let us be clear about one thing. We do not intend to criticize mothers or fathers. The purpose of our book is not to prove that fathers are (or can or should be) better parents than mothers, nor is our book is not meant as a criticism of fathers who, for whatever reason, are not involved parents. Parenting is not a competition. Our book demonstrates only that involved fathers tend to excel at certain aspects of parenting. Of course, so do involved mothers.
You may be wondering about who we are and how we came to write this book. Kevin O’Shea is a Harvard Law School graduate who left his successful legal career to become a full-time father when his first child was born more than eight years ago. Kevin and his wife Molly, a busy pediatrician, now have three active children, and Kevin is more involved than ever. His many encounters with other fathers led him to form Partnership for Dads, a nonprofit organization that works with existing institutions to help fathers become more involved parents. Kevin now conducts workshops for fathers, speaks to groups about the importance of father involvement, and writes a monthly column on fatherhood for Michigan’s largest parenting magazine.
James Windell is the author of several parenting and medical books as well as a psychologist and parent trainer. He was a more traditional father when his two children were growing up, but he was a very involved father. And although Jim was divorced from Jill and Jason’s mother when they were young, the co-parenting arrangement was very amicable and parenting was always a shared relationship, albeit from two different households. Although his own children are now adults, Jim is now very involved in raising his teenage stepson.
Jim first met Kevin when Molly O’Shea invited Jim to speak several years ago to the Michigan Chapter of the American Academy of Pediatrics. Then, our friendship grew when we were both speakers and board members for a nonprofit group that promotes active fatherhood. Our work on the annual Michigan Fathers Conference, an event that brings together several hundred fathers for a day of education and inspiration each fall, led directly to this book. Jim and his wife Jane, along with Kevin and Molly went out to dinner with Ross Parke, the author and parenting researcher who had been brought in as a special guest for the conference. We were impressed by Parke’s research into fathering, his enthusiasm for parenting his own children, and the book he co-authored with Armin Brott. That dinner ultimately led Kevin to approach Jim with an idea for a new book.
We started out intending to write a book about full-time fathers. As we explored the idea with our agent and an accomplished editor, however, we came to realize that we should broaden the scope of the book to include all involved fathers. We wanted to write the first parenting book with advice based on the experiences of fathers. We firmly believe that everyone can learn from America’s best dads, only some of whom happen to be (like Kevin) full-time, stay-at-home fathers.
Special Features of the Book
A word about some of the special things you will find in our book. We have included enlightening and useful dialogues between Jim and Kevin concerning some of the most controversial problems confronting parents today. Also, we have included some quizzes that will allow you to assess your own parenting knowledge and practices. A number of sidebar articles present discussions of some important topics that we felt belonged outside of the main text.
We also include the opinions and real-life experiences of many involved fathers, including the candid and surprising insights of a panel of such fathers convened expressly for the purposes of the book. Our goal is to provide a practical parenting resource that is backed up by the latest research and the experiences of successful parents. It is our hope that the format we have chosen will permit you to get the most out of this book by reading it now and then returning to it again and again as you confront specific parenting challenges.
Since we enjoyed writing this book, we hope it will be as enjoyable for you to read it. And we hope that it helps to make you a better parent. Please feel free to contact us with your questions or comments. We’d love to hear from you.